He’s my dad, I’m his Shithead

Lets preface this by saying, Shithead, was a term of endearment between my father and I. So don’t be coming at me. I never once thought he actually meant it.

In life, growing up, I had 2 very important goals. To have a love like my grandma and grandpa had. And to take my kids for a ride in their grandpas classic car. To me, if I had those two things, My life would be set and perfect, or in my 10 year old eyes they would be.

I was at least able to accomplish one of those goals.

When I look at the marriage between my husband and I, I can see a lot of similarities. Sure, my grandparents from what I’ve heard had some knock out drag out fights in their younger days. As have Daniel and I. My grandparents got pregnant before marriage. Same goes for Daniel and I.

Even with their fights. You could tell that John loved Pearl, just like you can tell Daniel loves me.

The Classic car…..it was a 1956 Chevy Bel-Air, 4 door hard top. My dad bought it in the early- mid 1970s. He paid $50.00 for it. And from what I’ve heard needed a complete restoration, so he pretty much bought a body, and built the car. Growing up, I only got to hear it get fired up once. And once I did, I was in love. Sure, I loved the story behind it to, but the fact that it looked so cool, and it was SO LOUD!

But then the smoking caught up with him. He got cancer.

I got a call; sometime in October 2017. Dad , who had moved to Maryland for work, wasn’t doing nearly as good as he was implying. He had tried to leave us once, and they were trying to put a DNR in place cause he was obviously done. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I’m still surprised all the stress didn’t cause any harm to my son, who I was pregnant with at the time.

So together, my Aunt and I flew across country to Maryland, to say goodbye and deal with his estate.

Fast forward to now. Over the years I’ve reduced the amount of things I’ve kept, only keeping things that are extremely sentimental to me, such as his tool box, his lettermen Jacket, his glasses, and of course pictures.

I’d kept his very first car too…that 56′ classic that he bought for $50.00. Until I realized, the way things are, its going to take more money, and more resources, than I will ever have to give to it. At least if I sell it now, I can still get enough for it to really help my family complete a couple very important goals.

With how stressful things have been for my family, the money, was needed to keep my family afloat. And that’s truly what my dad would have wanted.

But in a way. It feels like I still let him down.