After 3 children, I’ve had a chance to make some mistakes, as well as deal with postpartum life a few times. So I’ve learned a few things to say the least. With Miss Dani, things have 110% been calmer than it had been with my older two. Maybe its because I’m older, maybe its because I’ve learned what works for me, I’ve got no idea.
1. Accept Help
This is a big one. I had so many people trying to help me with my older two, and I just shrugged it off. With my 3rd I accepted help not only from my husband, but my doula as well. Its not always huge things either. My husband made sure (and continues to make sure) I’m eating well, and even cooked dinner and took care of the house the first week I was home from the hospital. It’s something he would have helped with anyway, but Its still nice having something off my plate during recovery, and one less thing I had to worry about. My doula, helped me commemorate this journey with Dani by taking pictures and doing some art with my placenta, but also detail cleaned my bathroom!
2. Go Outside
One thing I did when I first started having even the tiniest feeling of the baby blues, is I’d get my butt outside. Sometimes it might be for just a second to check the mail, other times the whole family and I would go for a walk. But a change of scenery was definitely needed at times.
3. Treat yourself
This could be anything, maybe some fast food, or that hankering you’ve been having for a milkshake, but even if your on a diet, treat yourself to something every now and again. It doesn’t have to be expensive. One of the first treats I treated myself too was a Dutch Bros rebel. I can’t say this is true for all postpartum moms, but I know for me, even the smallest of treats would make my day.
4. Keep Date Night
The relationship you have with your spouse is very important during this time. We had our first date night our 2nd day home with Dani. We shared a snack-plate, and watched a movie, and spent quality time together in-between taking care of Dani. We’ve done another once sense then where we played a game together.
5. Clean House = Clean Mind
Now, I can’t speak for everyone, but I know there comes a certain point I can allow my house to look, and then I just get angry/depressed and need it cleaned. When everyone is in their routine the house looks okay, but you aren’t getting overstimulated due to all the clutter. My husband took on a lot of my chores while I was recovering, allowing me to ease back into my routine.
6. Ask for a break when you need it
This one I struggled mostly with when Daniel went back to work. I know he had a long tiring day too, so I felt horrible asking him for a break when he got home. But then again, this is how I know we’ve perfected this routine after 3 kids. When he comes home, he can’t wait to hold Dani and listen to Vito talk about the most random things. Sometimes, I’ll use this break to get stuff done or cook dinner. Other times, I might just enjoy sitting down with a hot cup of coffee.
7. Take a shower
I don’t understand how there are moms who don’t get to shower. Like their other half refuses to watch the baby so they can shower. Showering is important for your mental and physical health. I typically shower when Dani’s asleep anyway, but if Daniels home I simply tell him that I’m taking a shower, this way he knows that I’ll be unavailable for a bit. Likewise, if Daniels going to work outside he lets me know, that way I know that he’s pretty much unavailable. Now, that doesn’t mean I can’t pop my head outside if something should arise where I need his help, but we do try not to disturb one another while we are attempting to get house chores/projects done.
8. Find a Hobby
Now, you may or may not have lots of time to dedicate to this hobby. But something you can do when you have a lull in your day. Personally, I’ll either bake, or write my blog. Or sometimes, if I’m just in a negative headspace I’ll only work on my blog, or I’ll just keep myself in the kitchen (just depends on what’s going on at the time)