An Infertility Journey

Growing up, I always knew two things. 1. I wanted to be happily married and 2. I wanted more than one child.

Being an only child was great at times, but other times it sucked. I didn’t want my child to have the same loneliness growing up that I had. I watched my husbands relationship with his sister when we first got together. They seemed close, and they both seemed to enjoy harassing each other, but at the same time, they stuck up for each other too. At least. That was an outsiders perspective looking in.

So, when we got pregnant with my daughter first, it was like a text book pregnancy. I had most first trimester symptoms, but never any issues with the pregnancy. Delivered a healthy baby girl on June 22nd 2011.

At first, when I met my husband, he had no idea if he even wanted children. Having a daughter changed his world.

He went from unsure if he wanted any, to wanting more, an outrageous amount. 6! When my daughter turned 1 year old we decided to start trying for our second child. That is when I found out I had PCOS and infertility issues. Through trials, martial troubles and just life, it took us 6 years to get pregnant with my son. During which we had 1 miscarriage. A missed Miscarriage. Right after that miscarriage, I successfully got pregnant with my son.

I now had 2 kids, 6 years apart. And the following 6 years until now was going to be just as rocky. 2 years after my son was born, I was pregnant again. It ended in another missed miscarriage. And the doctor I had help getting pregnant with my son with, unfortunately, was now in his upper 80’s and retired.

But wait! I got pregnant successfully after a miscarriage last time, maybe it could be the same this time! Wrong. Another Missed Miscarriage. If your keeping track that’s now 2 . A few months passed. Its now November of 2022. I started bleeding. But feeling very off. Just because I had a surplus of pregnancy tests at the time I took one. Positive. That was my 3rd miscarriage. My first non ‘Missed’ Miscarriage.

2023 hit and I gave up tracking, and trying, and decided I was going to let Nature take its course, and whatever my higher power feels should happen, will happen. My periods had become fairly regular, and I started working on my diet, trying to force myself to eat healthier. I started feeling better too.

In late 2023 though, my husband was diagnosed with Testicular Cancer and had to have one of his testicles removed. I thought for sure our journey was over, and this was the higher powers way of saying such. We both found peace with that, and it felt nice not having to track, or worry. We were disappointed, but at that point we had 5 children in our hearts, with 2 on earth we could hold and cuddle.

Fast forward to July 28th 2024. My husbands 32 Birthday. We were both drinking coffee when I realized, my period was late. I found another test in the bathroom, and thought for sure it was going to be negative. Boy were we both surprised when 2 lines appeared on that test. I was pregnant again! This felt different. This felt like a miracle baby. Here we were, told that due to my husbands chemo treatments, his fertility wouldn’t return back to normal, if it returned at all, and now, I was pregnant, with strong symptoms.

Fast forward 2 weeks. I FINALLY got into a doctor. There was no heartbeat. This, is #5.